June 8, 2012

It isn't rude to be nude!

I want to make a case against being fully clothed at all times. Before you get all huffy or offended, let me say my piece. I am not a nudist, nor do I think it's appropriate to be naked in public. I just think back to the good old days, before Adam and Eve went about their sinnin' and had to wear those fig leaves or whatever. They were nude, and I guarantee you, those guys were loving it. You know why? Because it didn't feel wrong or dirty back then. God was totally cool with their nakedness (having created them that way and all) and they were not ashamed of their bare bods. Most likely, this also had to do with the fact that they were the only people around and there were no way hotter chicks or more muscle-y men for them to compete with, but you get it. They loved being naked.

Now, friends, what happened after Adam and Eve ate of that fruit? Their eyes were opened and they became ashamed of their nakedness. They scrambled around to find something to cover their man and lady-parts before God saw them in their birthday suits. (They must've forgotten God has X-ray vision and is omniscient).

 I can relate this experience to me at my home, chilling while nude. First, I'm really comfy, just got out of the shower, enjoying the air on my skin and feeling so rebellious sans clothes. Then, a knock at the door (gasp). Quick check thru the window to see who it is--my father in law! Oh, GREAT! I scrambled to put on something, anything, before he accidentally saw me in my natural form. I ended up donning a button down shirt and some of michael's shorts, which probably sent the same message as being naked would've, but the point is, I was ashamed.

It was at that point that I decided it shouldn't be shameful to be naked. It shouldn't be rude to be nude! (Dang, that was good.) Don't be embarrassed when you're bare-assed! If you show your friends pictures of your naked babies and say "How cute", if you watch pornography, if you have ever gone skinny-dipping, then you agree with me without realizing it.

I'm just going to come right out and say it: there is no reason to not be naked for at least an hour a day. You can even count your shower, unless you're a never-nude. If any of you are familiar with the show Arrested Development, you'll remember Tobias and his secret condition: he was a "Never-nude", which means he was literally never nude, not even for bathing. A permanent pair of Daisy Dukes were attached to his body. Weird point to end on, but I like it that way.


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