I’m not shy. In fact, ask anyone who knows me, and they’ll
tell you I’m the opposite. For as long as I can remember (which may not
actually be very long), I’ve been known for my talkative nature. The only times
I got in real trouble at school were for talking during class (and once for
getting up to check my hair in the classroom TV—during a test). My cheerleading
coach from junior high nicknamed me Debra “Loudmouth” Fulcher. I didn’t mind
because I couldn’t deny it.
I come from a long line of talkative, outgoing women, with
the most notable being my mother, Teresa. She is one of out twelve Denney
children, and it’s safe to say she knows everyone in town. She’s a force of
nature, and most people know her by her boisterous laugh that can be heard
clear across Wal-Mart (or the state of Tennessee, if it’s something really
funny).
Growing up, a trip to the grocery store that should have
taken 30 minutes could easily turn into a three-hour expedition. We couldn’t
take a step without being stopped by someone that knew my mom. And she couldn’t
just say “Hello”—she had to reminisce with them, find out detailed histories of
their life events, inquire about their children, job, husband, wife, and family
pets. While I didn’t like standing there for hours, I was always proud that my
mom had so many friends and was well-liked. I figured I would grow up and be
the same way.
Fast forward a few years—I started dating my then-boyfriend,
now-husband Michael. I began attending Cumberland University, and I was still
working part-time at a local bookstore. I was surrounded by people all day,
everyday. I loved it! Then, I got married and once we had our little girl, we
decided it would be best for me to stay home with her. It was the obvious
option because I wanted to continue working toward my degree and I didn’t trust
anyone else to keep my daughter. I wasn’t even sure I trusted myself to do it!
In order to be a stay at home mom, I left Cumberland to start
taking my classes online through MTSU. And without a job, I had no real reason
to get out of the house everyday. I was totally focused on my little girl, who
completely amazed and entertained me--even though all she did at the time was
eat, sleep, and poop (but mostly poop). I started losing contact with a lot of
my childless, single friends. My mom always told me you could count your true
friends on one hand, and that’s if you were lucky. I found that out first hand.
A few weeks ago, I started to really miss the feeling of
being productive and just being out in public. My personality had even begun to
change. I wasn’t as outgoing or talkative anymore. I felt like a hermit, and
I’m not talking about the crab. I knew something had to change. I missed
feeling social and connected. So, I found a part-time job that works with my
schedule and allows me to be around people that don’t share my last name.
So far, it’s great and now I’m well on my way to being “me”
again. Pretty soon, I’ll be chatting people up in Wal-Mart for three hours
while my daughter stands there, wishing she had stayed home. And maybe one day,
she will write some futuristic newspaper column about the valuable lessons she
learned from her mother everyday, even while standing in the produce aisle for
the better part of her day. Or maybe she’ll be an introvert who avoids Wal-Mart
like the plague because of her traumatic memories of grocery trips that lasted
a few hours too long. I’ll just keep my fingers crossed on that one.
Love,
Mom
Debra, a Lebanon, TN
native, is a novice mother, wife, and college student. She writes about the parts of parenthood you didn’t expect when you were expecting.
Email her at interruptedmom@gmail.com or visit the website at motherinterrupted.com.
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