The Snow Boat Incident
Snow days in Tennessee are
less frequent than most school children (and me) would like. When we woke up to
a whopping inch of snow recently, there was very little hesitation. My husband,
daughter, and I started suiting up for the cold and dragging out the
essentials: two pairs of snow skis and a child-size kayak. I’ll explain the
kayak later.
Now, for anyone with
experience in winter sports, an inch of champagne-like snow is just not enough
for skiing, but that didn’t stop my husband. While he may not have gained the
attention of any Olympic recruiters that day, he didn’t fall and we figured
that was respectable enough. After seeing his mild success, I decided it was
safe to try out the kayak in a less-appreciated form: the kayak-sled. Since
it’s a small boat for children, and the manufacturers heavily doubted that any
self-respecting adult would attempt to fit, there isn’t enough room to stretch
out your legs. You have to sort of crouch on your knees to fit inside. This
already sounds safe, right?
I got situated in the kayak
and had my husband pushed me down the barely snow-dusted hill. It was pretty
fun, and I didn’t get hurt, so you know Michael couldn’t resist taking his
turn. This is where it gets hard for me to tell the story because I keep
laughing, which makes it hard to write.
These are the images I was
left with after what we’ve taken to calling “The Snow Boat Incident”:
Michael, at 6’1’’ and 215 pounds, crammed into a kayak
built for children under age 8 and 60 pounds; me, at 5’5’’ and…considerably
less than 215 pounds, trying to hold onto the kayak, which is teetering over
the snow-dusted hill, as Michael adjusts himself; my hands and how my fingers
slowly lost hold of the kayak as Michael cried “Wait!”; and finally, Michael’s
fast, surprise descent down the hill, which unfortunately . . .Rest assured, faithful fans, that I thought long and hard about where exactly to end this excerpt. I wanted to make sure it was right in the middle of something good and juicy, but not so good and juicy it would frustrate you to not get to finish it. You know, like the cliff hangers at the end of seasons of TV shows. So, if you want to read the rest, pick up a Lebanon Democrat, Smithville Review, or Oak Ridge Observer this week. Or, be really patient and wait until Thursday, and I'll post the rest. If I remember, which is an awfully big "if."
Love,
Mom
I bet that was fun AND funny! I'll have to tell you my sledding story one day. Your columns are getting better and better.
ReplyDeleteThanks Daddy. I will remind you to tell me. I'm sure it will be a great story, you tend to have those! Thanks for being my biggest fan. :) LOVE!
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