Forget everything I said before.

About quitting smoking, I mean.

From January 14-today, the 25th, I have considered quitting smoking to be easy. A cinch. No problem. This is because I was using an electronic cigarette to curb my nicotine cravings and keep me from smoking. In other words, I quit cigarettes, not nicotine.

I told anyone that would listen that the electronic cigarette I had now was the last one I would buy. That I only hit it a few times a day anyway, and that I wasn't worried about when the thing would finally quit on me. I welcomed it, even. Can't wait for it to die so I can really get healthy, I said.

Today, when I went to take my first puff off the e-cig around 12:30PM (after bragging that I had waited so late in the day), my mouth nearly drooling at the prospect, something awful happened.
Something terrible, awful, and heart-wrenching happened.
The little light at the tip of my pseudo-cigarette started blinking...the amount of vapor suddenly diminished...and the thing died on me. Without even letting me give it one last little puff, a friendly "Good bye" drag, nothing. Okay, I wanted to quit smoking, so I did. And then I started using these things, which isn't as bad, but it's still not great. I get that. I just feel like it was so sudden. I feel like nicotine has just decided to never call me after the wonderful time we spent together, or worse, like it's breaking up with me over text or IM. Is this karma? Nicotine, don't you love me anymore?

I love to make connections, so this is the analogy I have for quitting nicotine and cigarettes:
Quitting smoking is like childbirth.
You know you have to do it, but really dread it.
You embarrass yourself by acting crazy, cursing more than usual and saying "Give me drugs!" a lot.
Your husband doesn't want to be in the same room when it's happening, but will because, well, he has to.
Video cameras are strictly prohibited when it's happening, because I don't look good in hospital gowns or addict-mode (Maybe I'll just drive to market and get a pack. NO. I can't! Oh my God, should I just go and get it over with. Why aren't you stopping me!? I almost made a huge mistake! Do you want to ride with me though? Because I think I need just one).

So, I realize that now the true test begins. Now I will see if I (and my marriage, lol) have the determination to stand up to real, live nicotine withdrawls. Let the headaches, cleaning frenzies, and attitudes begin! Raise your hand if you're glad you don't live with me. Guard your face and genitals if you do.

Love,
Mom

Liberty or DIE!!!!!!!!!:

Check out the new Liberty or DIE! blog. More will be added soon, and his interesting mind will amaze and astound you...

Right now, however, there is just a picture that makes me laugh and laugh. :)

Breaking up with cigarettes. To the left, to the left

    When you're a stay at home mom who just quit smoking, you have to replace those blessed 7-minute breaks you used to take every 2 hours with something enjoyable. Or else you'll have a stroke. A lot of people might be surprised to find out that I used to be a smoker, and that's because I never liked announcing it. Some people can be judgmental, and when you already wake up coughing and hoarse, judgment is the last thing you need. Am I right? Anyway, the point is, my husband and I decided to quit smoking so we could be better examples for our daughter, improve our health, smell better, and not die. I ranked those in order of importance, by the way. This is the 3rd attempt I've made to quit smoking. First, when I was 18 and wanted to stop before I got "in too deep." Second, when I got pregnant. And this time, when I realized that paying $2000 a year to shorten my life span was optional (so I'm choosing not to).

    The point of telling you this wasn't to shame current smokers or hurt feelings. I'm a firm believer in the phrase "To each his own." I'm telling you this because I wanted to share the great methods I've been using to curb my cigarette cravings and get healthier.
First, I bought a disposable electronic cigarette (E-cig) in menthol flavor and started cutting back on cigarettes. I set my quit date for January 13, 2013, and I held on for dear life as that date approached. I wasn't just addicted to the nicotine, but also to the hand-to-mouth motion of smoking, those wonderful breaks conveniently placed throughout my day, the stress relief, and being able to go outside often. I can still do those things with the E-cig, minus the carbon monoxide and tar. Electronic cigarettes are available in different nicotine levels, so you can slowly taper off instead of quitting cold turkey (read: Mama's not going crazy). The vapor that they produce is not toxic or harmful and tastes much better than smoke.

These are what the electronic cigarettes look like:

   Aside from the electronic cigarettes, you know what helped the most while trying to quit, starting a new semester of college, raising a 2 year old, and writing for 4 newspapers? Coffee and tea. I can't sing their praises enough. Sure, maybe I'm just transferring my addiction from nicotine to caffeine, but caffeine is cheaper. Plus, I strongly feel it makes me a nicer person. I decided to treat myself and buy expensive coffee because of all the money we're saving. And expensive coffee tastes so much better than cheap coffee. A friend of my husband's gave us a Bodum Assam Teapot with some awesome loose-leaf teas, which I've also been using the crap out of. 

    So, that's how I got through those harrowing first three days. I pretended I hadn't quit smoking and used the electronic cigarette in its place. But those things get incredibly expensive, so I couldn't keep using them for long. As I write this, I am on my last e-cig and I only use it about 3 times a day. I haven't hurt anyone, gone through terrible withdrawls, or had a mental breakdown. Yet. Wish me luck!

Email: interruptedmom@gmail.com
Website: www.motherinterrupted.com